Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Unplanned Does Not Equal Unwanted

With the recent triumph in the Texas Legislature returning abortion to the "safe, legal and rare" precedent for their state my Facebook feed has been filled with emotions of why abortion is not practical as a form of birth control. In the debate on whether abortion is safe, we are often so focused on the health of the mother that we forget that in nearly 100% of all abortions, it is fatal to the life of the unborn child. Even if we don't forget, abortion is a safe word that lets those who are pro-choice and pro-life skim over that fact "comfortably."

My husband and I practice Natural Family Planning. Most days I can tell you where I am in cycle without batting an eye, my husband has a bit more of a hazy understanding. However after 2.5 years of marriage, any pregnancy we would have would be definitely "unplanned". We want a child, but have been unsuccessful in growing our family. When we say that a child would be unplanned we don't mean that we don't want a child, just that the positive result would be truly a surprise.

At the same time there are women everyday who find out they are pregnant and it is as the worst possible time in their lives or under the worst circumstances. Our contemporary society tells us that abortion is the best option for the living mother, excuse me, woman. Not only is it encouraged, it's expected. The same is the result of those child who unexpectedly have a physical or cognitive defect while in the womb. The parents may love that child, but in the child's best interests are told to abort. It is a courageous and noble or even stupid choice should parents choose to keep the child.

In these "unplanned" circumstances, why do we show that disposal is a better choice than love. There is a deep societal stigma regarding pregnant women. Unless the child being born is being brought into this world in the best situation, why even have the child?

Love. Love requires self sacrifice and self giving. Society is so wrapped up in convenience and living the easy life that anything truly sacrificial is seen as an undue burden. Only give while it feels good and then call yourself good.

I've used this picture before. I absolutely adore my nephews and the eldest from this family is on the left. I will call him Batman. Batman's mom had a completely unplanned pregnancy. She had been with her boyfriend for about a month and Batman had found his Batcave. She never hesitated once and decided to keep him. After Batman had been born his parents decided to get married. While it hasn't been easy for their family, they make due on work when they can find it, and live comfortably cramped in their small apartment. And Batman in the lead watching over his two younger brothers and baby sister. My sister in law is a great model of faith, hope, and love while doing their best in life.

There is another story which can probably do more to illustrate that not all unplanned pregnancies are unwanted.

We all know the story of a very young teen who finds herself unmarried and pregnant in ancient Israel. The Blessed Virgin Mary found herself accepting the promise of God through his angel that she would be carrying the Son of God. Saint Joseph even found himself wanting to not marry her because she was pregnant. He wouldn't have been out of line to think it was with someone elses child. Leaving her side would have meant almost certain death for Mary and her child. Their society wouldn't have batted an eye at that. Even at that time when it was only Mary who wanted to keep the child, Jesus was definitely unplanned in her life but he was even greatly loved and wanted. Love and self-sacrifice won out. Joseph through the instruction of an angel was told that Jesus would be the savior. Mary had a healthy baby boy and the rest they say is Salvation History.

Children who are unplanned and for mothers' and fathers' who are thinking that abortion is the only way out, please consider adoption for your child. Please consider calling your local adoption agency or speaking with someone at Birthright. There are agencies who will support your choice and help you find the best choice for you.