Unplanned Does Not Equal Unwanted

With the recent triumph in the Texas Legislature returning abortion to the "safe, legal and rare" precedent for their state my Facebook feed has been filled with emotions of why abortion is not practical as a form of birth control. In the debate on whether abortion is safe, we are often so focused on the health of the mother that we forget that in nearly 100% of all abortions, it is fatal to the life of the unborn child. Even if we don't forget, abortion is a safe word that lets those who are pro-choice and pro-life skim over that fact "comfortably."

My husband and I practice Natural Family Planning. Most days I can tell you where I am in cycle without batting an eye, my husband has a bit more of a hazy understanding. However after 2.5 years of marriage, any pregnancy we would have would be definitely "unplanned". We want a child, but have been unsuccessful in growing our family. When we say that a child would be unplanned we don't mean that we don't want a child, just that the positive result would be truly a surprise.

At the same time there are women everyday who find out they are pregnant and it is as the worst possible time in their lives or under the worst circumstances. Our contemporary society tells us that abortion is the best option for the living mother, excuse me, woman. Not only is it encouraged, it's expected. The same is the result of those child who unexpectedly have a physical or cognitive defect while in the womb. The parents may love that child, but in the child's best interests are told to abort. It is a courageous and noble or even stupid choice should parents choose to keep the child.

In these "unplanned" circumstances, why do we show that disposal is a better choice than love. There is a deep societal stigma regarding pregnant women. Unless the child being born is being brought into this world in the best situation, why even have the child?

Love. Love requires self sacrifice and self giving. Society is so wrapped up in convenience and living the easy life that anything truly sacrificial is seen as an undue burden. Only give while it feels good and then call yourself good.

I've used this picture before. I absolutely adore my nephews and the eldest from this family is on the left. I will call him Batman. Batman's mom had a completely unplanned pregnancy. She had been with her boyfriend for about a month and Batman had found his Batcave. She never hesitated once and decided to keep him. After Batman had been born his parents decided to get married. While it hasn't been easy for their family, they make due on work when they can find it, and live comfortably cramped in their small apartment. And Batman in the lead watching over his two younger brothers and baby sister. My sister in law is a great model of faith, hope, and love while doing their best in life.

There is another story which can probably do more to illustrate that not all unplanned pregnancies are unwanted.

We all know the story of a very young teen who finds herself unmarried and pregnant in ancient Israel. The Blessed Virgin Mary found herself accepting the promise of God through his angel that she would be carrying the Son of God. Saint Joseph even found himself wanting to not marry her because she was pregnant. He wouldn't have been out of line to think it was with someone elses child. Leaving her side would have meant almost certain death for Mary and her child. Their society wouldn't have batted an eye at that. Even at that time when it was only Mary who wanted to keep the child, Jesus was definitely unplanned in her life but he was even greatly loved and wanted. Love and self-sacrifice won out. Joseph through the instruction of an angel was told that Jesus would be the savior. Mary had a healthy baby boy and the rest they say is Salvation History.

Children who are unplanned and for mothers' and fathers' who are thinking that abortion is the only way out, please consider adoption for your child. Please consider calling your local adoption agency or speaking with someone at Birthright. There are agencies who will support your choice and help you find the best choice for you.

Yes!

Yesterday was hard for me to go through the exercise, today was a soothing balm to that hurt.

I often frequent a Natural Family Planning website and forum at www.livingthesacrament.com and from the women on the forum, I have learned to take an approach to my fertility as Mary did with the Archangel Gabriel. So it came as a pleasant surprise to have Luke's account of the Annunciation. The instructions of the day from "An Ignatian Prayer Adventure" was to "marvel at Mary's freedom to say 'Yes'!"

When I read through the Annunciation today I heard two different things. First I put myself into the story and wondered what it would be like to have an angel tell me that I would be pregnant. I am not saying that I would be given the blessing to carry the Lord but my own child. Gabriel saying "Do not be afraid" I think reaches out to any first time parent's fear of having a child. At the same time I would still be like Mary as I would be concerned with the 'how' it would happen.

Despite Mary's fear she still has the boldness to say yes regardless of all the stigmas of her day. Then I saw the meme to the left and remembered a lot of cultural issues Mary would have faced. She should have been cast out of her family and stoned. From my collegiate studies, Mary was also supposed to be a consecrated virgin. She had reason to be overly scared for herself and her only worry was that she "didn't know man." (v. 34) Gabriel reminds Mary, and myself, that nothing is impossible for God, (v. 37) and that was enough of a reassurance for Mary to give her "yes".

So Jesus had been an unplanned pregnancy and currently, short of divine providence, I am not expecting to become pregnant. My second realization is how a person reacts in faith. I truly do marvel at Mary's yes. Her yes only started with the Annunciation and continued throughout her life. From trying to find the lost child Jesus, to raising Jesus as a single parent, supporting his ministry, and standing by him as he died are only a small list of the yeses Mary gave.

However, I need to be more bold as I step out in faith. I second guess myself, I occasionally doubt my decisions. I look at where God is trying to bring me and stop being a child and digging my feet into the ground trying to stop my moving forward. I need to confidently move forward and not always balance the options.